Jenny
by MBandLJ
Summary: Nate starts to realize how he feels about Jenny. Bad at summaries  obviously
1. Chapter 1

'Jenny' Nate hadn't spoken to her in what felt like years. He had no idea where she was or why she was there in the first place. What he did know was that without her, his life had become a mess. He had no direction, no ambitions. Everything he had left when she did, but it took 10 months for him to figure that out. He missed her blonde hair, her striking blue eyes, her beautiful smile, and her adorable laugh. He missed hanging out with her, he missed watching movies with her and watching her fall asleep half way through, he missed everything about her.

Why did he let her go? He knew how she felt about him, why didn't he realize he felt the same way earlier, when she was still around? Instead he went off with Serena, but she was in love with Dan and would always be in love with Dan no matter what. He had wasted his time with someone who would never love him, instead of being with someone who had always loved him and who he had always secretly loved. Now he could never get the chance to be with Jenny because she left, she moved, and didn't say goodbye. 'But she had no reason to say goodbye' Nate thought. He couldn't think about this anymore, he needed to get up and go to class. But as he was getting ready she was still all he could think about.

As he was walking to class, he saw a tall blonde figure across the street that looked exactly like Jenny. He was sure it was just his imagination; he wanted to see her so bad he was becoming delusional. But he had to make sure, he wasn't going to let her get away if it was her, not again. He ran across the busy street nearly getting hit by every car that drove by. The shrieks of the car breaks made the blonde stop, as Nate walked towards her it was apparent to him that it was not Jenny. "Of course it isn't her, what would she be doing here anyway?" He mumbled to himself.

"Are you okay?" the blonde said.

"I'm fine" Nate said clearly upset.

"Okay good, I'm-"Nate walked away before the blonde could finish her sentence. He didn't care who she was or what her name was, at that moment the only thing he cared about was Jenny.

After class he went back to the empire, he paced back and forth in his bedroom contemplating whether or not to call her. All he wanted to do was to call her, to hear her voice, to know she was okay. "I'm Nate Archibald, I shouldn't get so nervous by a phone call" he told himself. He stood there for another 15 minutes before finally dialing her number.

"Hello?" The sheer sound of her voice brought a smile to Nate's face.

"Hey Jenny, its Nate."

"Nate?" She was confused, why was Nate calling her? Why now? "Hey, w-what's up?"

"Uhhh nothing much, I just felt like we haven't talked in a while" Nate said slowly trying to chose the right words.

"Yeah, it's been a while." Jenny replied nervously. Even over the phone Nate had her flustered. "W-what did you want to talk about?"

"Just wanted to ask how you were doing….so how are you doing?" The smile had faded, now he was just nervous, very nervous.

"I'm….I'm good, yeah it's good here."

"Where is here, exactly?" He said trying not to sound weird or creepy.

"Hudson, I'm staying with my mom here. You know I'm not trying to sound rude here but why did you decide to call me now…and not 10 months ago?"

There was a long pause; he didn't know how to respond. He wanted to tell her that he couldn't live without her, that he missed her, and that he loved her but he didn't want to tell her over the phone, he needed to do it in person. Finally he said "Because"

"Nate because might've been a good answer 2 years ago but it's not good enough anymore. You said you'd be there for me no matter what, but where were you when I needed you? Where were you when my life was falling apart?" Her breathing became staggered, she was crying and it was breaking Nate's heart. She was right, where was he? Why wasn't he there when she needed him? "Why didn't you call all this time? Why was it that Chuck called before you? And why was it that he was there when I was looking for you? I needed you!" Jenny cried into the phone before she hung up.

Nate stood there stunned with what he just heard. What was she saying about Chuck and him being there? What happened between the two of them? He quickly redialed her number.

"What? What do you want now Nate!" She said as tears kept falling down.

"What happened with you and Chuck?" Nate asked. Jenny was silent. How did he not know? She sent out the GG blasts months ago, how did he not know yet? But if he didn't know, she didn't want to tell him. "Did you two…?" She knew what he meant when he said that, but she just couldn't tell him. "Jenny, how could you do that? And with Chuck?" He said with slight disgust in his voice. "Is that why you left?" he asked.

"Yeah" she responded quietly.

"Can you tell me why the hell you would, with Chuck?" Nate asked still disgusted with the thought of Chuck and Jenny together like that.

"It wasn't like I went there begging to have sex with him Nate!" she yelled into the phone with frustration.

"Then why did you do it with him?" Nate said trying to calm down.

"I was alone, and sad, and I just wanted someone to want me. And he was there, alone and sad and it just happened." There was another long pause before Jenny spoke again. "I was looking for you, I wanted to see you" she whispered before hanging up again.


	2. Chapter 2

Nate messed up, but he was determined not to lose her again. But what could he do? He kept trying to call her but she wouldn't answer. It was clear she didn't want to speak to him, especially after their last conversation. But he needed to talk to her, he needed to apologize, and he needed to finally tell her he loved her. How could he though? She didn't answer his calls, his texts, and he didn't want their next conversation to be over the phone anyway. He needed to see her but what was he supposed to do, knock on every door in Hudson until he found the right house?

The next few days were just a blur, all he ever did was think of Jenny and how he could possibly see her. On one of his blurry days, Nate was wandering around the city, something he had been doing a lot lately, when Dan texted him.

**Hey do you want to hang later?**

Dan. Why hadn't he think of Dan at first? He could help him, he could tell him where Jenny was. Nate was about to reply back but hesitated. What if Dan didn't want to help him? He didn't exactly approve of Nate and Jenny were briefly together a few years ago, what would make him change his mind now?

**Sure . **Nate would have to think of a plan to convince Dan to help him.

After Dan and Nate played some soccer, they walked over to a hotdog stand in the park to get something to drink. "Hey Dan, I need to ask you something." Nate said as he paid the vender.

"Yeah, what's up man?" Dan replied

"When was the last time you talked to your sister?"

"A few days ago, why?" Dan asked confused

"Just wondering. She's been gone for a while now. Is she gonna come back?" Nate tried to asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah I don't know, the last few times she came back didn't go well. I think she's better off in Hudson for now." Dan replied.

"Last few times? When was she here?" Nate asked, confused.

"She was came back a few times, for an interview with Tim Gunn which didn't go well, she was apparently at the Saints and Sinners Ball, actually dressed as Serena, didn't go well either obviously, she was also here when Serena was at the Ostroff but as you probably can guess.."

"That didn't go well either?" Nate interrupted.

"That would be an understatement. She just needs more time away from the city, to get her head on straight." Dan said. "She's still a good person though, she's still my little sister."

"Yeah, yeah I know what you mean. She's a-a really good girl. Have you visited her?" Nate asked. He was planning what he said very carefully in his head. He needed to find some way to get Dan to tell him where Jenny was or even better to take him to her. But now that Dan was showing his protective side the task seemed harder than he planned.

Just before Dan could answer he got a call from Rufus. Something important came up and Dan had to leave. Nate felt somewhat relieved, he hadn't quite thought of a way to ask Dan to help him.

He tried to do some school work for the rest of the day, it was a good distraction for a while but he would always end up thinking of Jenny. He spent hours trying to concentrate of school, but for some reason found himself completely exhausted, though he hadn't really done anything. Nate got up from the desk he was sitting at and sunk into the couch to watch some TV.

_Dirty Dancing_ was on. "Great" he mumbled. Dirty Dancing was Jenny's favorite movie. They would watch it together all the time. The nights that Jenny stayed over they would watch it after a game of Wii tennis. Then they would watch Nate's favorite move, The Sound of Music. Jenny thought it was kind of adorable that it was Nate's favorite but she had never been too fond of it. She would always fall asleep in his arms during it. As much as he didn't want to admit it then, Nate would watch her sleep for hours before finally carrying her over to his bed and tucking her in. She always looked so peaceful, it was nice to see her look so calm and serene.

A smile spread across Nate's face as he thought about Jenny sleeping in his arms but he was immediately depressed again. Though the thought of Jenny made him happy, it always made him extremely upset. Unable to concentrate on the movie Nate decided to get to bed. It took longer than usual for him to fall asleep. But when he finally drifted off into sleep his phone began to buzz. 'I'll get it in the morning' he thought to himself.

* * *

So I dont particularly like this chapter but it'll get better.


	3. Chapter 3

Jenny stood pacing back and forth in her bedroom. She had texted him a half hour ago and still no reply. "You'd think he'd reply a little faster considering he'd been doing nothing but trying to talk to me the past few days." She mumbled to herself. Jenny laid on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, since Nate's first phone call he was all she could think about. She tried so hard to forget everything about her old life, especially how much she loved Nate and she had been pretty successful until now, and he was just ruining it. Why now though? Why was he trying now to talk to her? She'd been gone for almost a year now and he was just now trying? That wasn't good enough for her, but she couldn't just let him go. After trying to ignore the constant calls and texts she gave in and finally texted him, but why wasn't he replying? She looked at the clock. 1:46 a.m. "Maybe he's asleep" She thought. It was kind of late and it was a totally plausible reason for why he wasn't answering but she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to talk to him. She wanted so desperately to call him but she didn't know what to say, the text she sent him wasn't even remotely significant, all it said was _**Hey. **_If she couldn't even compose a simple text of more than one word how would she ever be able to start a conversation with him?

She fell asleep clutching her phone waiting for a reply from Nate. Her sleep was very inconsistent, she kept tossing and turning, checking her phone every so often. She checked the clock after what felt like forever, 3:31. I hadn't even been 2 hours and it already felt like a lifetime. She went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. She sipped it slowly as she walked back up the steps to her bedroom. Unable to sleep she began working on a dress she had recently sketched and that worked as a really good distraction. The sun was already rising when she looked up from her work, Jenny checked her phone in the hopes of a reply, nothing yet. It was still early though, only 7:13. 'I better get some sleep.' She thought to herself.

Nate woke up earlier than usual. It was only 7:30 and it was Sunday morning. He went into the bathroom to take a shower completely forgetting about the text he had passed up reading last night. He ate some breakfast and began doing medial tasks to keep occupied. It worked for some time, it was already 9 before he knew it. He sat down on the couch exhausted for no apparent reason when his phone began to ring, it was Dan. 'Good' He thought. He was happy Dan was calling him, he could try to convince Dan to help him out with Jenny. "Hey man what's up?" He said answering the call.

"Nothing much, but uh hey I remember you asked something yesterday when my dad called so if you need anything or something, ya know just ask." Dan said. He'd been worried about Nate lately, he seemed so out of it whenever he saw him, especially when they hung out the day before.

"Um…yeah thanks…wanna hang out later?" Nate asked trying to sound normal. Did Dan know he had feelings for Jenny? After all ,yesterday she was the only thing he asked Dan about.

"Sure, see ya later." And Dan hung up.

Before placing his phone back on the table Nate noticed he had an unread text in his inbox." Oh yeah, from last night" He remembered. It was from Jenny. 'Jenny?, finally' he thought to himself excited, but he was nervous to open it. What if it just said _Stop texting me, I never want to speak to you_, or _I hate you, leave me alone_? Or something like that? He had to get over it, it was just a text.

**Hey **

He read. A smile began to form on his face, it was better than he expected. Maybe she did want to talk to him. Maybe she didn't hate him.

_**Hey :) **_

He almost pressed send before erasing the message and typing,

_**Jenny, I love you.**_

But before he sent the text, he erased it again and replied simply with

_**How are you?**_


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a couple of hours since Jenny had woken up to Nate's text. She still just wanted to call him but she was too nervous to think of anything to say. But she knew though that there was no way to respond to him without sounding stupid in text. What was she suppose to reply with?

_I'm totally fine Nate except for the fact that you're the only thing I can think about and that you're currently ruining all of my efforts to forget my UES life and all I want to do is see you but I can't because I know I shouldn't forgive you but just because I can't forgive you doesn't mean I can just stop loving you._

That simply wouldn't work, at least not over text. "Come on Jenny, it's just a phone call you'll be fine." She encouraged herself out loud. "But I can't do it. I need to be done with him; I need to get over him. I need to be done with the UES, _for good_." Just as Jenny had made the revelation she had been trying to have since her move something snapped her back into reality, her phone began to ring. It was Dan. She would never be done with the Upper East Side, not while Dan, Rufus, Eric, and Lily still lived there and they would never leave. Why would they? It was their home and it would be way too much to ask them to leave. "I'll just have to distance myself from them, no visits nothing. Just completely stay away." she thought before she realized her phone was still ringing.

"Hey Dan" She answered.

"Hey Jen, what's up?" Dan asked.

"Uh..Nothing really. Just working on a dress, what about you?"

"Well you're birthday's coming up in a few days and dad thought maybe you'd like to spend a few days back in the city for it. Dad's already talked to mom about it, he misses you a lot."

'Great' Jenny thought. She couldn't not go, she hadn't seen her Rufus in months and although she wanted to stay away she wanted to see her dad. And Dan and Eric, she missed them a lot too. 'One visit, just a few days. It wouldn't be that bad…right?'

"Jen, you still there?"

"Oh! Yeah, sorry. I'd love to visit. Yeah, tell dad and Lily, I'll see them in a couple of days." She said reluctantly. ' It would only be a few days, a week at the most.' She kept thinking to herself. 'I can avoid everyone for a week, Nate, Blair, Chuck, Serena, Vanessa. I can avoid all of them, right?'

"Great, see you soon!" And with that Dan hung up.

"Yeah great" She said to herself. Nate's response would have to wait now. She had to pack and think of a way that she could avoid Blair, Chuck, Vanessa, and Serena. Her last visit didn't go over well. Everyone was against her then, she made up with Rufus but Serena wouldn't have it. Even though Juliet confused to drugging her and told her it wasn't Jenny, Serena still wouldn't forgive her. Neither would Blair, Blair still wanted Jenny to stay away from the city. And as for Chuck, there really was no specific reason she didn't want to see him other than the simple fact that he was Chuck Bass, and nothing good ever came from seeing Chuck Bass. Nate soon became the last thing that Jenny was going to think about, as much as she dreaded seeing him as well there were other people she had to be careful of. Serena would be there obviously, even though GG said that she was living with Blair now that doesn't mean she doesn't go over to the penthouse at all. And if Serena was coming over than Blair was sure to be with her. And although Chuck and Blair weren't together (at least according to Gossip Girl) he still came over to speak to Lily about Bass Industries. Lastly there was Vanessa, but she didn't really matter anymore. Dan had told her that he'd had a falling out with Vanessa after the lie she told to get Jenny in trouble, and also that Vanessa was suppose to leave and spend time with her family in Vermont. 'Perfect, one last person to deal with.' Completely overwhelmed by the situation she went down to the kitchen for something to eat.

Nate headed over to Central Park where he was meeting up with Dan to play soccer. Today was it, he was going to ask Dan to help him get with Jenny. When he got to the park he paced back and forth unsure of how he would approach the situation. He had the same problem a couple of days ago, he didn't want to come off as some creepy stalker or anything but he needed to know about Jenny, he needed to see her. He needed to tell her. Just then Dan started approaching.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. I was talking to Jenny." Dan said.

"Oh yeah no problem." Nate said trying to sound normal.

"Yeah, she's coming to see my dad in a few days and as much as I want to see her I can't help but feel like she's not ready to come back just yet, even if it's only for a week." Dan continued. He was genuinely nervous for Jenny, he sensed she wasn't ready to visit when she hesitated to answer but of course she couldn't give up the opportunity to visit her dad. They hadn't been able to spend any time together. Rufus was always busy and couldn't visit her or Jenny was just too scared to visit him, but it was time to visit her dad, to spend some quality time with him.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, she's not a little kid Dan. Isn't her birthday coming up?" Nate tried not to sound like he cared too much but not that he didn't care at all and his plan to tell Dan wasn't going to work out.

"Yeah and that's why my dad wants her to visit, to spend some father/daughter time with her. But she's not ready, no matter how old she gets. Serena, Blair, Vanessa, and Chuck don't like her that much, especially Serena. They'll make her life a living hell until she leaves." Nate hated hearing how weak Dan was making out to be. Sure Jenny was vulnerable, everyone was, but she would be okay. Even if she wasn't ready she was still stronger than Dan was making her out to be, at least that's what Nate thought.


	5. Chapter 5

So I finally have a new chapter, idk why but I took FOREVER writing this and I still don't think it's that good but if I kept trying to make it good I would never have anymore chapters so you'll just have to deal with it...sorry :(

* * *

The week was a blur to Nate, all he did was count down the days until Jenny was back. Dan had told him she'd be there on Friday and stay for 2 weeks, since she was on Spring Break. _2 weeks_. He thought. _That's plenty of time to tell Jenny. _

/

"2 weeks. 14 days. You can do it Jenny, you'll be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen in 2 weeks." Jenny told herself. The week was nerve racking for her, she just kept thinking of new scenarios where everyone turns against her again but before she knew it, it was already Thursday night. Even though she was dreading going back, even if it was only for a little bit, she was sort of excited. The city had this energy to it that Hudson didn't, it was so fast paced and exciting. Jenny's creativity was starting to fade while in Hudson, her designs were lack luster and uninspired. She needed the city to get her back into her designing groove. She quickly forgot about how horrible it might be and instead thought about how good it could be for her. Just the thought of new inspiration made her feel better. She went to bed excited, like maybe a trip back into the city would be good for her, something she thought was impossible until then.

/

Nate tossed and turned all night, he couldn't get Jenny out of his mind. Tomorrow she'd be in the city, tomorrow he promised himself he'd tell her, tomorrow everything would change. He started feeling at ease with the thought that Jenny would be his in just a couple of hours and began to drift off into sleep.

The next morning he woke up with purpose, he showered, got ready and was out the door. He got ready so quickly that he didn't even realize it was only 9 am until he got into his car and was on his way to the Van der Bass/Humphrey penthouse. She wasn't arriving until the afternoon but what was he suppose to do to occupy his time? He stopped the car and decided to walk, although it wasn't too far of a walk it would at least take up a little more time.

/

Not until she got on the train did Jenny begin to get nervous about seeing Nate. Just a few days ago he started talking to her, and he was bound to be around town. Manhattan isn't that big of a place. What would she do when she saw him? Once again the idea of not being ready to return circled in her mind. After being excited all night Jenny thought she was ready, she thought that if she just focused on family and working that she wouldn't think about the other things that she despises about the UES. She didn't want to have to deal with seeing people she didn't want to see, or seeing people who didn't want to see her. Although Nate had always been happy to be around Jenny, or at least seemed happy, what if he didn't want to see her. They only just started talking again, what if he only wanted to be polite and that's why he called at first? What if he was just starting conversation to ease the news that he's engaged to some UES princess and that he wanted her to design her wedding dress? That scared her the most, what if he did love someone else? What if he had only called her because he wanted to know that she was okay when he got married? All of these scenarios ran through Jenny's head. Her train finally pulled up into Grand Central and she was paralyzed with the thought of Nate being in love with someone else, barely able to muster up the strength to get up, too scared to face what could easily be the truth.

/

It was almost time for Jenny's train to arrive. Everything was racing through his mind, what if Jenny hated him? They'd barely started talking and it wasn't the same as it used to be. What if she had a boyfriend? 'She has no reason to tell me if she does' He thought to himself. After a day of worry she was going to be here. He found himself standing in front of Grand Central Station, 3 pm sharp and immediately felt regret. The thought of him being here now instead of having been there last year flooded his mind, he regretted letting her go and hopefully he would finally be able to apologize for that.

/

Eventually after Jenny had gotten up the courage to get off the train, her felt her phone buzzed, Dan had texted her.

_**Hey can't meet up with you, sorry Jen. I'll see you back at the penthouse though **_

'Ugh fantastic' Jenny thought. She was counting on Dan to come pick her up from the station, he was going to be her safety blanket as she reentered the world of the Upper East Side. Now she was on her own. She grabbed her luggage and made her way through the large train station.

/

Who was he kidding? She wouldn't forgive him, not yet anyway. Doubt filled Nate's mind and he quickly walked away, he couldn't deal with seeing her yet. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do. So he left from his stop right out front, got back in his limo, and just sat there.

/

Finally outside, Jenny felt the New York breeze in her hair, her fears all vanished as she stepped onto the pavement of the familiar city. She felt at home, so far she'd been fine. No Gossip Girl blasts have been received, meaning that no one knew she was in town. At least not yet, but she was fine with that. Word would get around eventually she thought but being alone, without anyone knowing was good enough for now. She stood on the sidewalk, soaking in the New York presence as she tried to hail a cab. She felt at home again in the city, she was excited to be back.


End file.
